This is an ancient post in internet years, but I stumbled on this while chasing other links and I appreciate it.
Thank you for sharing so openly. Here's my own story: I'd been depressed before but I never hit suicidal until I left grad school and my relationship with my partner simultaneously imploded. That was a year ago now and I am doing pretty well, all things considered. These days, I sometimes walk by high places and am so grateful/happy/relieved at the lack of those thoughts/images/impulse-feelings. It's an odd feeling. I didn't know you could be grateful for that.
I wish that more people talked about that flavor of suicidality and how little the general "talk to someone because this is SCARY" encouragement connects when you're there. Hell, I had a therapist. I didn't tell her about it until I was through the worst of it, because I was coping and I knew I wouldn't hurt myself. There always seemed to be something important to talk with her about that I didn't worry would lead to involuntary hospitalization (as had happened to someone I knew).
Thanks for this.
Thank you for sharing so openly. Here's my own story: I'd been depressed before but I never hit suicidal until I left grad school and my relationship with my partner simultaneously imploded. That was a year ago now and I am doing pretty well, all things considered. These days, I sometimes walk by high places and am so grateful/happy/relieved at the lack of those thoughts/images/impulse-feelings. It's an odd feeling. I didn't know you could be grateful for that.
I wish that more people talked about that flavor of suicidality and how little the general "talk to someone because this is SCARY" encouragement connects when you're there. Hell, I had a therapist. I didn't tell her about it until I was through the worst of it, because I was coping and I knew I wouldn't hurt myself. There always seemed to be something important to talk with her about that I didn't worry would lead to involuntary hospitalization (as had happened to someone I knew).