For me, in my experience, this is a critical sentence:
"I couldn't see any sequence of events that would turn my life around and restore my happiness."
You say you haven't learned much from your experience but even if you have learned nothing else you have learned that just because you cannot see a better future does not mean that one doesn't exist.
After my first 'bout' that was the most important take away which has helped me since. I now objectively know that, whatever my cyclical and dysfunctional thoughts of despair are saying to me, the possibility of a better future exists. It is, perhaps, not much but it is a crack of light and somewhere to start.
My other big take away was to try and treat myself as graciously as I would a friend. If I knew a friend was thinking about themselves the way I was I would move heaven and earth to try and help them and know that I would see the beauty and worth in them even if they could not. Yet for myself I accepted it as if I deserved it. Strange that we can often be more kind to others than ourselves. Now I try to change my perspective and look on myself less hyper-critically and more warmly.
I do not think there are any magic bullets when it comes to depression but you can learn to identify when your thoughts are tending towards the dysfunctional and develop strategies to avoid or at least minimise the depth of a depression.
Power management, mobile and firmware developer on Linux. Security developer at Aurora. Ex-biologist. mjg59 on Twitter. Content here should not be interpreted as the opinion of my employer. Also on Mastodon.
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Thank you
Date: 2013-02-06 12:14 am (UTC)"I couldn't see any sequence of events that would turn my life around and restore my happiness."
You say you haven't learned much from your experience but even if you have learned nothing else you have learned that just because you cannot see a better future does not mean that one doesn't exist.
After my first 'bout' that was the most important take away which has helped me since. I now objectively know that, whatever my cyclical and dysfunctional thoughts of despair are saying to me, the possibility of a better future exists. It is, perhaps, not much but it is a crack of light and somewhere to start.
My other big take away was to try and treat myself as graciously as I would a friend. If I knew a friend was thinking about themselves the way I was I would move heaven and earth to try and help them and know that I would see the beauty and worth in them even if they could not. Yet for myself I accepted it as if I deserved it. Strange that we can often be more kind to others than ourselves. Now I try to change my perspective and look on myself less hyper-critically and more warmly.
I do not think there are any magic bullets when it comes to depression but you can learn to identify when your thoughts are tending towards the dysfunctional and develop strategies to avoid or at least minimise the depth of a depression.